|  A  |  b     s     Ü     r     d  
 |  .  |
 |  .  |   m ai     l  
 |  .  |
 |  .  | q . u . o . t . a . r . i . u . m 
    .
    .
    . 

                                           .
                                           .
    .... s..a..m..p..l..é..z....V.o.l...2...
    .
    .
    .                                          

"Your page drives me nuts!!!"

"Your page drives me crazy!!!"

"Your page drives me nuts and crazy!!!!"

"I have been asked to teach a web page design seminar course for the Dumbapolis pre-elementary school of K-M-Art and Teasign for mentally deranged. Your "Net Ticks" pages have been a wonderfully moronic reference for me. I'd like your permission to use your pages as "recommended reading" for the course."

"...EXCELLENT pages. This will keep me busy for months... Hope I'll find a job till then."

"I just added your Web page ... looks gross!"

"Gosh, wow etc etc thanks a lot! There's enough here to keep us going all through the holidays and probably next year as well... We have nothing to do anyway!"

"... a great home page, with no useful links at all!"

"I found your page very informative! Then I lost it, and some time after I found it again and found it even more INFORMATIVE!!!"

"You page contains so much information, so it's over my head! I's like water blowing from broken faucet!!!"

"Enormously informative pages here! I feel myself so stupid! I can imagine how stupid you should feel yourself!!!"

"Your pages are so INFORMATIVE, it's like they contain too much of INFORMATION. I think I'm so INFORMATED now."

"Yo, keep yer pagez off da Web. Yo, hear what da sez?"

"I broke my head yesterday in a grocery store. After reading your pages I think I don't need it anymore at all!!!!"

"I visited once and now, I pass by every day. Looks like my browser stuck here. Need to get a new one!"

"Just took a look at (some of) your pages and I must say I am very impressed. Your font is so big and bold! Your paragraphs are so centered! How do you do that!"

"I saw there's some words on your page. You obviously gone to a lot of effort!"

"Man, your page is huge!!! It took me several hours to download it!!!
My modem is so slow! That's amazig ^Z^C
                                        ^H^H^H NO CARRIER.

"Wow: you've got a lot of hot links there...I'm also have lots of links on my page! This is so cool!!!"

"You won't believe how many links this page has! It's so many, it's even more than ten!!!"

"Wow! What a compilation of neat stuff! Stuff in this compilation is so neat!
I saw other stuff, but it either was not a compilation, or was not as neat as yours!"

"You have a whole list of links here! I never seen list of links before! It's like have links to all sorts of places! I broke my finger clicking on all of them!!!"

"Thanks for putting all of those links on your page! I've seen them many times on other pages and thought I'd never seen them again, but I was wrong!!!"

"After visiting your page I was so excited, I can't sleep!
I'm also can't eat and urinate anymore!!!"

"... your WWW page... VERY nice. Humorous, and yet still boring; it has so much color -- first time I thought it black, but then I found it yellow and little pink."

"Your work is truly impressive, and I have included your home page on mine. Now you should include my home page on yours or pay me $5 !!!"

"I never been so depressed before seeing your page!!!"

"Impressive amount of work you've done there. Like you spent helluva time on it. Typing all this pesky letters and such. Unbelieveable!"

"... it's nice to browse a page organized as bad as yours. I'm totally lost. Thanks."

"...I also have seperate link to some other your page."

"Terrific home page! I was so terrified I hide under the bed until my parents came."

"It is the best home page, in my opinion, on the Web. I've seen another home page but it not as good as yours."

"When visiting your page I accidentally exposed my rear to the monitor and my hemorroids are gone!!! You are wonderful!"

"I have Nylx browser, and other pages look totally scrambled in it. Your page looks totally blank. How do you do that?"

"My browser have video and music and phone and micro-wave and steam dryer buld in it. I lost remote, so I can use it anymore! But I still able to view your pages if I turn the light off!"

"You rather looks like a male scum than a grrl, because if you would be a grrl, you'd put rrr in most of your words, and you don't! You defenitely not a grrrl. Maybe you also not a nrrrrd???"

"Really nice page you have here. I found especially interesting your discussion about issues that are very important to all net Grrrlies. Like should you put two rr or three rrr in Grrrl? And how it can be net Woman if there's no rrr in it at all??? You are 100% right -- we need to do something about it!!!"

"You pages are really nice, but you look like really Whimpy Mordant. Because your pages radiate Whimpiness. Not dislike those Hippy Pendants. Their pages radiate Hippiness. So you better read our "Hippy Pendant Tentaclebook" and you will be instanly 100 times hippier than whimpier!"

H3y M4N, Y3r P4gZ l00kz 3l33t, but not as 3l33t a5 m1n3! 
Min3 h4v3 a11 50rtZ of h4ckz. 1ik3 s0m3 B4S!C c0d3z 4nd ztuff!
I h4v3 m0dem. 4nd 1 c4n dr4w a5C!! 1 n0t s33 4ny 4sc11 0n
y3r p4g33z. Y0u l4m3r, m4n, g3t y0urs3lf a m0d3m, s0 y0 c4n d1g
0ur bbS! 1'll h4ck y0ur p455w0rd!
                3133t phr34k3r.

"So you got that home page, huh? Do you feel lucky? Do you feel lucky, PUNK?"

"Really enjoyed visiting your page. We found it is a good center for family entertainment. We liked your page so much we decided to make it our family page. We sending you our pictures and you can put them on your page."

"I visited your page several times, but nowadays, once I'm visiting your page, neighbours start knocking in the ceiling and threaten to call the milice."

"Just want to say that your page is one of the best I've seen, and I've seen a lot: round ones, triangle ones, rombe ones, and I find yours is the best!"

"Nice page you put there, but we in Aserica are using pages size 423 by 576 inchimeters. Why your page size is non-standard?"

"I found your page one of the most intertaining on the web so far. Unfortunately, my monitor can display only five pixels at a time, so I still have a lot to explore!!"

"Whoa! Great pagey! Just can you put some fancey background, so we can enjouey it too?"

"Nice Page. Uninformative and boring."

"We like your page design a lot. You doing a great job for putting up pages for such dumb moronic idiots like me and my buddy Jim."

"Dear sirs, we would like to thank you for using 100% recycled materials in construction of your web site. This way we don't need to visit any other site, because you have everything they have. And more, you repeat it many, many times -- for our immeasurable enjoyment. Thank you, thank you very very much."

"After wondering the web for centuries we found revelation in your pages: EARTH DID REVOLVE AROUND SUN and EARTH IS NOT FLAT!!! We would like to invite you to our small family celebration of this fact. We'll give you better welcome than we did for Galileo long, long time ago. God bless you my son!"

"Duhduhduhduhduh, wow, whoa, etc! Visit your pages and being struck right beneath of my monitor: You are truly a Master of web design! Found your three-green-pixel trick especially useful: I showed it to my friends and they all got very excited, even though they don't understand nothing in design and know nothing about the Web and think that pixel is the name of my dog being squished by the truck!"

"Dear friend. We want to assure you in our fullest support for your pages, since you showed really ethical treatment of animals on your pages. It even looks like those pages have been written by animals themselves on their funny animal language, because we didn't understand a thing. Keep up the good job!"

"Hello. I've got a computer, and friend advised me to sign up for cool America On Line account. Then I've got this browser and now I'm spending all the time surfing on the web. It's so cool! I've got cool electronic mail, so I send you this cool mail. I hope you'll become as good web surfer as I'm. I'm very good in chat too. Also I'm very cool. Good luck!"

"Hi, absrrrdies, I read some of your pages and found them very interesting. I especially liked those about young people who surfing the web using their parents computers (my dad is a big shtick in some soft wear company -- isn't it funny, like you would wear something that is not soft, maybe stainless steel panties!). I found those pages picking up some important grrl issues. I only don't get one thing: are you guys are grrls or not? XXX for good-bye."

"After reading your pages we thought that it is God speaking from your site. So we set up a shrine and put up a monitor with your page on it and worship it every Friday. The only thing troubled us since: we sacrifice one vigin computer every time we are gathering to worship you and now we think: should we rather bring modems to sacrifice instead, or they will be too cheap to redeem our sins in the face of THE Ever-browsing God?"

"After reading your page my eye popped and fell under the table. I tried to find it and lost another one. When I fit both eyes back I missed my jaw, so now I can only use Internet chat."

"Your page of HTML tip hit me in my pit. Now I'm so hip, I rip my lip."

"After reading your pages my browser bit me in my finger, so I was forced to shoot him. Buggy browser should be shot aren't they?"

"Your pages look so dark, so I went to the hardware store and bought white spray paint. I painted my monitor and now your pages look much better."

"Enough already."